When Bad Crafts Happen to Good People

Mar 18, 2011 by admin

This is the story of the little crafty bar in the city. Like all country songs, it’s a sad, sad story. Oh, I said the bar was in the city. My bad.

On with the story! (With some guest appearances by some of my friends who commented on the photos).

We found a little hole in the wall bar called Blackwell’s, across the street from the Hollywood Theater in Portland, OR. We were totally minding our own business.

Heather: Bar + Crafts = WTF??

Regina: Sooo you’ve seen the book “Simple Times- Crafts for Poor People” by Amy Sedaris, right? It’s all this and much more. A few photos in the book actually made me feel nauseous…. It’s a must see if you haven’t already!

I had to go to the bathroom and was attacked by tacky crafts. I knew I needed to grab my camera.

I also grabbed Jenni. We were laughing so hard it was hard for me to hold the camera still to shoot this.

Yup. That really happened.

Jenni: And right here we have a stenciled bear framed in a spray painted embroidery hoop. 

Steph Anne: Laura Ingalls called and wants her art back.

How about the rug hooked rug in front of the toilet? God, this looks even more gross in a photo if that is possible.

Diana: Looks aside, that is a crafty bacteriafest. Ewwwwww.

Tamara: I’m dying to see the proprietor responsible for this mess

Steph Anne: I went on antibiotics after viewing this

We were dying over this. This piece of “art” was screwed into the wall and half of the frame is missing.

Jenni: Is only half a frame “minimalist”? Or did someone grab on it as they slipped on the hooked rug? Hard to tell.

A close up version of this beautiful piece of “art”.

As far as I can tell someone hot glued dried flowers to an embroidery hoop and called it art. There are also mysterious stains and cobwebs as an embellishment.

This is Jenni reacting to the condom machine next to the 1970′s country craft vomit on the walls. Good stuff.